Rammed off course
Derby County vs Middlesbrough, EFL Championship, Pride Park, 17th August 2024
“It’s the predictability that kills me.”
These are words often uttered by Ben to Liz whilst watching The Boro. Because in football, some things are as inevitable as rain on a Bank Holiday weekend. And going from what could turn out to be one of our performances of the season on Wednesday night, to an ignominious defeat three days later is one of those things.
So, it’s Saturday morning and we’re on a coach. Not just any coach - coach number 1 of 6. The first away league game of the season has a sold-old away following, and this is more coaches than a lot of the away trips we do. We’d driven to Leeds last week, but had overheard that there were 9 coaches that night. At least this morning we’re not on the coach which needs a screwdriver to open a jammed … something. Luckily “Julie” has one on her coach - good old Julie.1 With the problem fixed, we’re off! It’s not a massively long drive so there’s not even a coffee stop. However, we do have to have a quick stop to “reset the buzzer”. We missed what the buzzer was for or why it needed resetting, but presumably it’s critical to the smooth running and safe operation of a 60-seat passenger coach. Next time you see a coach slumped on the hard shoulder of the motorway, smoke and flames billowing out of its engine bay, the driver - head in hands - and passengers marooned up the grassy embankment looking on in despair. Sirens in the background. The sound of a baby crying. Possibly a helicopter. Clearly another malfunctioning buzzer disaster. We’d like to bet Julie didn’t need to reset her buzzer.
Anyway, after three hours on a non-flaming bus with a fully functioning buzzer, we arrive at the Riverside 2.0, also known as Pride Park. They’re almost identical, apart from the fact that one has been surrounded by a leisure and retail park, containing a glitzy arena, some megastores and plenty of food and drink options. The other is still largely surrounded by industrial wasteland awaiting development, just like it was 25 years ago. I’ll give you a clue - you can’t just pop over the road for a Starbucks if you’re at the Riverside. Yes, we’ve been here before, more than once. Perhaps the most memorable occasion was back in September 2000 when Boro put in one of their most, well, Boro performances ever by throwing away a 0-3 lead, going on to ultimately draw the game 3-3.
‘What do you reckon for today?’ Liz asks. The glorious free flowing football of Wednesday night is still uppermost in her mind, and for once, she is optimistic. ‘I think we should get something from this one.’
‘Oh we’ll dominate the game… and still somehow lose,’ suggests Ben.
How we laughed.
We buy a programme and head into the stadium. Again, it’s weirdly like being at home - but not. We’re at the wrong end, for a start, and everything is back-to-front. Perhaps that works for the players as well - everything felt wrong, right from the beginning.
There’s a bit of needle these days between Boro and Derby - all to do with financial matters off the pitch. Liz had forgotten about that and was surprised to find the atmosphere way more poisonous than it had been on Wednesday at Leeds, and there was a disconcertingly high police presence. Ben had not forgotten. And as regards the off-field tensions, this blog is not the place for thrashing out the ins-and-outs who was right and who was wrong, but Derby were wrong, obviously. And rather than the 21-point deduction they received, they should have been relegated all the way down to the Central Midlands Football League.
Hope was high as the game kicked off and Boro began quite brightly. We were dominating the game and looking comfortable - until a woefully under-hit back-pass from Isaiah Jones falls at the feet of Derby forward Kayden Jackson who races upfield, rounds the Middlesbrough goalkeeper Seny Dieng and scores. It’s Derby’s first real effort of note of the game so far - and goes on to be practically their only effort of the entire effing game.
Needless to say, that error and the resultant price paid for it knocks the stuffing out of both Boro fans and players. Derby rightfully celebrate our misfortune with gusto (we’d have done the same!) and then … the timewasting starts. Literally, at minute 20, throw-ins begin to take 3-times longer than they should, as do goal kicks. Derby players come down with mystery injuries. It’s all a bit pathetic for a team at home. But, in fairness, it works. It slows the game down and breaks up any momentum Boro try to build. They simply can’t force an equaliser. Half time comes and as Carrick and the team are cloistered away discussing tactics we remember the 2nd half performance 3 days ago. A repeat of that and we’ll blow Derby away. But - spoilers - we do not blow Derby away. Despite stats that read - possession Boro 70%, Derby 30%. Shots: Boro 20, Derby 4. Fouls: Derby 13, Boro 5 - there’s only one stat that matters at the final whistle: Derby 1-0 Middlesbrough. This explains the disconcertingly high police presence - officer, there’s been a daylight robbery!
We played well enough but just couldn’t score. You could almost say ‘we dominated the game, but still somehow lost’... It was just ‘one of those games’ - but it’s those games we can’t help feeling we really should be winning if we’ve got our sights set on promotion. We console ourselves as we climb onto the coach to head home. If today's match is anything to go by, at least for the rest of the season we hopefully get to see some exciting football, whereas Derby have to watch another 9 months of…whatever that was. But, so be it. That’s football in The Championship, where anyone can beat anyone.
Seven days later we watch Boro dominate another game. At home to Portsmouth the stats are even more impressive - Middlesbrough enjoy 71% of the possession and have 30 shots at goal, in comparison to 7 for the away team. And yet, still the Boro don’t manage to win. A late penalty rescues a 2-2 draw.
What does this mean for the rest of the season? On the one hand, it's a bit dispiriting to have not picked up more than a point across 2 fixtures that, on paper, looked winnable. On the other hand, if we keep creating as many chances as that, it’ll even itself out over the course of a season and we’ll win more games that we lose, surely. Only time will tell…
Now, if you’re thinking the blog has been a bit football focused and Boro-heavy of late - good news. We’re back on our travels around the country next week so the next 4 trip reports won’t involve Middlesbrough!2
You can look forward to Blyth Spartans, Morecambe, Barrow and Burton-upon-Trent!
We have no idea who Julie is.
Or Derby, thankfully!