Football and a library
Oxford United vs Middlesbrough, Kassam Stadium, EFL Championship, 23rd November 2024
As readers of our last entry will recall, we took the opportunity of Boro playing Oxford United for the first time in forever to have a weekend away in Oxford. When we’re watching football we tend to spend weekends away in the kinds of places that are perhaps not the most obvious spots for tourists to visit. Gillingham. Stockport. Barrow-in-Furness.1 So a genuine, bona fide tourist destination is unusual for us and we make the most of it, heading down a whole day early and spending Friday in a round of the tourist sights. Well, some of them - Oxford has so many that we run out of time. Liz once lived in Oxford, so she is very much in charge of the itinerary. First of all we head to the Bodleian Library (Liz’s old work place). Most of the other people on our tour are delighted to see the amazing chained library, the beautiful carved beams or the places where Harry Potter was filmed - but Liz is in raptures to see one of the old pneumatic tubes that used to deliver the book orders, and the little alcove where she used to sit when on reading room duty. She was massively disappointed not to be able to revisit the tunnel under the road where the conveyor belt used to run from the bookstacks to the reading rooms, but the relative mediocrity of the Divinity School and Duke Humphrey’s Library would just have to do for today.
We spare a passing glance for architectural wonders such as the Sheldonian Lecture Theatre, the Bridge of Sighs and the ancient colleges: the ironically named New College (founded 1379), Magdalen, Trinity, Queens … then it’s off to have a look at Arne Jacobsen’s 1960s masterwork and another of Liz’s old haunts, St. Catherine’s College - a building of modernist splendour, utterly different to every other Oxford College, and now, sadly, with many buildings closed due to RAAC concrete in the roof.
We head into the city centre again and buy some sandwiches to eat in Christ Church Meadows, then it’s back to our Premier Inn to get ready for a trip over to Cheltenham Town [add link]. Being us, we have avoided the delights of a beautiful city centre location for our weekend away in favour of one next to the Cowley car factory with adequate parking, easy access from the ring road and closer to the football ground - and much cheaper, of course!
Having analyzed the intricacies of the public transport system the previous day, we have determined the optimum route for today - i.e. we get the X11 bus from outside the factory gates to the city centre. When the X11 turns up, it’s a minibus. A minibus full of bus drivers. It’s weirdly intimidating being on a bus full of bus drivers. It’s like being in a church full of nuns. It’s refreshing to hear them talk about their work positively (the bus drivers, not the nuns - they were for illustrative purposes only and arne’t on the bus). They clearly seem to actually enjoy their job and think their employer is half-decent - although they’re not looking forward to the football crowds this afternoon.
We spend a happy morning shopping - Liz comes out of Blackwell’s bookshop with a couple of new books and the Covered Market with some highly scented fruit tea. She also indulges in some good natured and terribly middle class banter with an Oxford United fan in the tea shop, where we compare tea blends and both express our admiration for the incomparable Ben Doak - Liz in awe, the Oxford fan in fear. We are lured [Footnote: Liz is lured] into a cafe by some beautiful looking crepes, and after we’ve eaten one each mid-morning (Oxford, the home of J.R.R. Tolkein being the PERFECT place to indulge in a hobbit-ish second breakfast) we pretty soon realise that we won’t be wanting any lunch today, as we head back to Cowley to get ready for the match and have a cup of highly scented fruit tea.
Friday had been a beautiful but cold Autumnal day (remember the long-johns…?). Today it’s milder but wet, and the wind is picking up. By the time we reach the ground, we’re already quite damp, and we trudge around the outside of the stadium looking for the club shop. We find a fan-run shop on trestle tables where we buy a pin badge and programme, which seems very amateur for a club of this size … only to discover afterwards that this was just a pop-up shop and the REAL club shop is in the shopping centre over the road! Still, they are friendly and the pin badge and programme are just what we want - and we’re out of the rain for a few minutes.
Time to head inside and hope that our seats will give us some shelter from the increasing downpour. They don’t. You see, the Kasaam Stadium has got an end missing. By which we mean there are 3 stands instead of hte traditional 4. Instead of housing football fans, the 4th side overlooks a car park and a Hollywood Bowl. Of course, we’re sitting right next to the ‘missing’ end, so the wind blows the rain right in. It’s beginning to look like we’re in for a miserable grey afternoon, but by the time the seats around us fill up we’ve got a bit more protection from the elements. Perhaps it won’t be that bad, after all, and if we can get a point, or even three, that would make the afternoon a lot better. I’d like to say ‘we sit back and relax’ but, being in the away end, we stand up and get tense.
‘This is exactly the type of game we always lose,’ says Ben, as Oxford’s first goal goes in and we prepare ourselves for a grim afternoon. However just as we’re resigned to our fate - and busy thinking things along the lines of ‘never mind, it’s been a pleasant weekend other than the football’ - we equalise! Suddenly the weather doesn’t seem quite so grey. Maybe we’ll hold on until the end of the match for a point … Oh! Another goal, it’s two one to us! That’s a really pleasant change, so perhaps we can hold on for … wait a minute, now it’s 3-1. I tell you, it was never in doubt … But of course, this is Middlesbrough. It’s always in doubt.
Half time comes, and an advert on the electronic hoardings for ‘ethically sourced coconuts’ reminds us that we are a long way from Middlesbrough. It’s dark now, and it’s still raining.
As the teams run out for the second it all looks good on paper with our 1-3 lead. But, as someone once said, football isn’t played on paper. We’ve scored three goals, but we’re not looking 100% solid at the back, and games like this can turn on a … oh, now it’s 4-1.
I tell you, never in doubt …
But Oxford absolutely refuse to give up, surge forward to first hit the Boro crossbar and then to grab a second goal, making it 4-2.
Whilst Ben is quietly urging Boro ‘not to shit it’ Liz utters some immortal words that could only come from the lips of a Boro fan:
‘I’m not going to feel entirely confident unless we score five.’
Reader, we do score five. By this point, even Liz is beginning to feel optimistic, and when the sixth goes in, we’re delirious. We look at each other and neither of us can remember the last time Boro scored six goals away in the league. It turns out that we can’t remember it because it happened in 1960 (and we didn’t win that game - it was a 6 all draw with Charlton). Mercifully for the home team we stop scoring and the game ends 2-6. We make our way out of the Kassam Stadium and find that we are funnelled back around all 4 (well, 3) sides in the rain order to pick up the path back to the hotel. Even when we are more than half way back we can hear the jubilant songs of the Boro faithful. Somehow, the weather doesn’t seem quite as cold and grey on the way back.
What a day. Some reminiscing for Liz. A morning of culture. Six goals. And a minibus full of bus drivers.
Please note that we had a tremendous time at each of these places, despite the fact that it’s unlikely Judith Chalmers ever did an episode of Holiday from one of them. A contemporary reference, there… Ben.